The Road to Redemption-A Righteous Path

The Lord spoke to me and said, “Son, go down the long and narrow road and walk the path of righteousness.” Listen and see the way that I have done since the outpouring of the Lords spirit unfolded.

I was predisposed and subjected to live amongst a rebellious, sinful, and disobedient group. And it was when I was with these men that I was entirely at the will and say of my probation officer and of the terms and conditions to my probation and court laws. There was little that I could do that might help me to get away from such an unruly people. I had already dug myself a hole and committed several violations that would keep me stuck in the place that I was at, and that place was Sand Island Treatment Center. Despite my own unruliness and rebelliousness, I had eventually learned how to stay the right coarse and follow the terms and conditions of my probation. Then suddenly as my spiritual enlightenment began to take its bloom, the authority of the nations came down to coordinate and to control my environment; and what that meant was the coordination would include the many individuals and peers that I was already with at Sand Island Treatment Center. You might call it that my tribulations and trials were just beginning because this authority figure was nothing but severe in its dealings with me. Nevertheless, the lord had decreed it to me, and he had intended for me to stay the righteous path, to be strong and brave, to be holy and loving, and to be tolerant and peaceful. Therefore, from the moments that these tribulations started to now, I have been doing my best to stay the righteous path, follow the terms and conditions of my probation, and courageously bear the burden of this tremendous trial and test that the authorities had put me through. This passage was meant to let the public know exactly what that road looked like for me, when and what happened? What did I do? Where did I go? And what was I thinking? I have listed out the most important places, events, people, and thoughts that have consumed my life since my tribulation had started.

Sand Island Treatment Center #1 and OCCC

I was at SITC from January 19, 2018 to March 21, 2019 at which point I was transferred to OCCC where I spent a timeout for 15 days. I then returned to SITC on April 4, 2018 and then continued my treatment until July 24, 2018 at which point, I was discharged for being an interruption to the treatment community. When SITC staff sent me to OCCC for a timeout in March, they had told me it was because of my angry outburst that occurred. Things had gotten complicated at SITC during the month of March because there was something going on behind the scenes, which I believe was the true cause of my timeout sanction. During February and March, I had through many days of practice been capable of communicating with the females by using an underground and secret language; it was communication by signs, subliminal messages, and through indirect means. Common knowledge for all inpatients such as myself was this, communication with the females at SITC is strictly prohibited, and can be a means for a non-clinical discharge. But the problem was that I was beginning to have a little staring contest with one of the women there. Eventually it gotten so hard for me to keep my silence and so I slowly developed a way to communicate with her in secret. In turn, it did not take long before all the women were now aware of me and were all beginning to communicate with me through an indirect means. I had managed to create an unintentional disturbance to the treatment facility. I had basically become a problem for the staff because it seemed as if all the women were not paying attention to the recovery process, but instead were paying attention to me and to the language that I was able to develop with them. There was an exchange of information and words between us which now allowed us to communicate with each other. The staff slowly caught on and they did not know what exactly to do with me because I had made sure that they would not be able to catch me doing anything to obvious. Was I in the wrong? Yes, this is where you might find my deviant, rebellious, and misbehaviors to be a part of who I was. I was not helping the staff to defuse the situation at all, but only continued to pursue for myself a chance to get in with the women. Eventually, I saw the staff beginning to use the same indirect language at an attempt to stop what was going on. The problem was that nobody could or exactly knew how to talk about the situation plainly because it was so hard to pinpoint the misbehaviors or conduct that was deemed an obvious breach in contract and treatment rules. At least for me, I have yet until this very day, ever talked about this situation plainly with anybody that would be able to confirm what exactly was happening. So, what happened then? Well, I saw that the staff was not happy about what I had caused to occur at their treatment facility. I saw that the staff was now beginning to show a little apprehension and disapproval my way. But in the same way that I was flirting and communicating with the women indirectly, they did the same to me my utilizing the same indirect and subliminal language. Next thing you know, I am now very upset that the staff did not confront me directly about the issue and as they began to reprimand me indirectly, I began to get disgusted with their unprofessional and sketchy ways. This only led me to do one thing, I blew up and in a angry display of my displeasure due to the staff’s tactics. They were reprimanding me in a unprofessional matter and so I shouted out at one of the staff members; I basically shouting to the staff member to come and talk to me directly and straight about the problem instead of quietly and secretly advancing indirect language toward my way. But guess what happened? Instead of getting real and direct results that lead up to the problem that I had caused with the women, the staff now just busted me and put me in separation and review based on my outburst and anger. They now had means to discharge me and reprimand me solely based on my outburst alone, and not for what I had done with the women. They ended up sending me to jail for a timeout and what occurred with the women was never mentioned. Even though I had to go back to jail, I was undergoing spiritual attainment like I have never known before. I felt that time I spend with God during my brief 2 months at treatment and then the solitude I had at OCCC for two weeks surpassed any other event of spirituality that I had ever had thus far. It was just as much fitting for the occasion, that it was Passover season, it was my birthday month, and it was Easter, all of which coincided to add to the monumental event that I was learning to completely give my will and way to the Lord my God. I was learning to accept, I was learning to be forgiven, reconciled, and enlightened to follow the Lord, and I was learning to find the truth that is in my brother Jesus Christ all within the critical 2 weeks I spent during my timeout at OCCC. The timeout at OCCC allowed me the time and a Christian environment so that I could get closer to the truth of this wonderful and powerful spirit that was about me. I got down to the truth that is in the Son of God, Jesus and the word made manifest in the flesh. This is where and when I started to honestly believe in the Son and this is where and when I had attributed the origins of this powerful spirit that encompassed me to be of the Lord’s doing. There was one thing that the Alcoholics Anonymous based program at SITC was missing and that was the Christian based philosophy. As soon as I rooted myself back into my Christian roots, I would finally be on my way to uncovering the truth about who I was. Sand Island treatment center #2 To the surprise of the treatment staff at SITC, I decided to return to finish up my treatment. This time, I wanted to do the right thing all the time. I knew that I needed to forget about the women and instead just concentrate on my recovery. And I needed to focus on the amazing spiritual enlightenment exercise that I was undertaking with God and Jesus. That is exactly what I did, and in turn, the spirit of God began to unfold before my very eyes in every direction I looked. I started to open my eyes up now to the signs that he had placed all around me. I started to see and to listen to God in a way that nobody else could quite understand and so I kept most of it to myself. The synchronicities, the signs, and the divine cooccurrences were everywhere; all of it kept me in a state of joy and excitement because I was feeling the love and the purpose filled life in everything I put my mind to. There was yet the one big question. Who am I that I should have this magnificent spirit to encompass me? I mean, I was witnessing some tangible evidence that this thing is real. Anybody who was wise and knowledgeable enough would be able to pick up on it. There I was left to investigate further; trying hard to figure out what this was? Who am I? Then it finally hit me. I saw the signs and I began to see just how powerful this spirit was as it followed me around. I felt that I was embedded and connected to life’s every movement and to life’s every single attribute. It did not take long for me to finally get down to the number one theory that I needed to ponder, could I be the chosen one? Could I be God’s very own son; a son to come after Jesus? Am I the Christ, the one that was foretold to come again? There it was as I was counting how many treatment inpatients there were with the name Chris. Now we are talking about some of the signs that I saw; there must have been up to 5 people named Chris, which gave me the clue that I was looking for. And I was counting how many Jeffrey’s there were in treatment, there was 4 to be exact. After many trying moments to cope with the overwhelming excitement that I had now that I was getting down to the bottom of it, I went to a friend of mine to seek some understanding and definitive answers. He is a Christian man and went up to ask this Christian friend, “do you think that it took Jesus a little while to come to his own understanding of who he was as the son?” I was trying to hint to him that I was coming to my own understanding finally as to who I might and could possibly be. It was during these critical moments of truth’s attainment when I suddenly felt the authoritative figure pop into the picture at SITC. It seemed now that I was seeing everybody act and move in a different and in a coordinated way. I knew it then that the powers and the authorities of this world must have caught on to who I was at about the same time that I did. The moment I began to think that I was Christ, was the moment that I began to see the undercover movement and the disguise of all the people around me. Slowly I could see how everyone was moving more and more and speaking more and more as if they were guided and told what to do and what to say. It was hard to judge with good judgement as to the nature of this authority figure; was is righteous? Is this a good thing? Were they there to help me? Are they protecting something? Why are they denying me a true witness? Why are they not straight out trying to help me to figure this out? Why did they leave me to be alone and to be persecuted in such a way as they did? Everybody was pretending now; they were all playing a role that they were taught to fill. I could not for the life of me, figure out why a society would do such a thing to a man; this was flat out a very awful experience. It was very scary and nerve racking to know that people would intentional turn there back on a fellow human being in such a way. All of them must have hidden earphones in their ears. All of them must be conspiring together against me I thought. Nevertheless, I was stuck in this system of things because I was still said to be on probation, and I know that they were putting up a wall or a facade as if nothing ever happened. They constructed a make pretend society around me. The only thing that I could do was to have faith that this awful experience would end someday soon. And the major thought that continuously ran through my mind was, “I hope that this is of the United States Government and not of some outer world power because this is not anywhere near human.” I could not help but theorize as to all the possibilities that could bring upon such a strange, powerful, and controlling environment to be coordinated around my every move. I would cope with this make pretend environment the best I knew how. Sometimes trying hard to break down this wall of lies and façade, I would cry out, shoutout, and other times I tried to be straight forward. But to no avail; everyone was well practiced now as to how to counter anything I said and did no matter what the situation was. I put up with it for as long as I had to, and the next thing you know I was being transported to my probation officer because I was being non-clinically discharged from treatment. Oahu Community Correction Center: To my surprise, there I was in Jail at OCCC again undergoing a psychological assessment because I openly told my PO that I thought that I was Jesus Christ reincarnated and the son of God (By the way, I believed that the authorities were directing me in the right direction by hinting to me through indirect means that this was the truth. The truth that I was indeed the Christ reincarnate). At this point my faith was strong because I concluded now that this must be some test and that this must be some initiation process of some sort. I first needed to past the test and go through the tribulation and initiation process. For whatever it was, I was trusting in this process and I was trusting in God that he would deliver me from the dreadfulness of the reality that it was. And so, I learned to play along; I joined in the pretend society, I joined into the make-believe society as if nothing ever happened. The Lord did not show up to awaken everyone, I was not Christ, and I was certainly not the center of a mass scale society-controlled environment (these were the rules I needed to play along by). I needed to think more along these lines if I were going to survive with a sane mind; otherwise I believe that would be at the Hawaii State Hospital, the psychiatric health facility. I waited 2 weeks to see Judge Nacino. When I saw him, he said that I would be doing the 3-panel evaluation and so I was sent straight back to OCCC. I was in great pain to find myself in jail; I mean I did not use drugs and I thought that this was all so very wrong and unjust. It caused me to be in great pain of heart and soul. A couple of days after seeing the judge I was transferred with the federal bodies to the federal detention center (I was told that the state has a deal with the federal government. An agreement that helps the state to house some of the state bodies at the federal detention center). Federal Detention Center: I have never been to the Federal Detention Center, but I have heard good things about it because the treatment of prisoners was always said to be better there. From the moment I stepped into the facility I immediately saw how much more organized, structured, and clean the facility was compared to what the state had to offer. My faith was still holding strong and my hopes were high because I knew that whatever this was, whatever this persecution was, it was only temporary and that I would soon be greeted by a true and receptive people. But I was terribly wrong because after spending 5 gruelingly long months waiting for a 3-panel evaluation, I was left with nothing but despair and heartbreak. My heart was broken because I could not accept and believe that humanity would do something like this to a fellow human being. Let alone, how could my own country people and nation be the source of such cruelty and oppression. It was devastating because it seemed as if nobody cared to help, yet it was obvious that everyone was involved in this mass coordinated effort to persecute me, to persecute the son of God. I started to begin to believe and think that there was now 2 separate worlds that I needed to live by, the first being the make believe and role play world that pretended as if nothing ever changed, and the second being the hidden and the true world that lied underneath it all. I needed to learn to operate normally under both conditions, the fake make pretend world and the true world; both seemed equally important for me to live in accord with. What you see is what you get, but what seems to be true is not always the truth; It felt like my life had become some riddle to try to figure out. I learned that I needed to keep my head down, follow the rules that were presented to me plainly, but then work to serve my God diligently by using the spiritual gifts that I was given to use. The people that were chosen to pretend around me basically did all the normal things that would be if nothing ever happened. For instance, everyone played a part by sticking to their clicks and gang-ties, everyone ate, played, gambled, talked, and acted as if nothing ever happened. But anybody could tell that everyone around me was being controlled and told what to do and say whenever they were around me. Once in a great while I would be so lucky as to get a taste of a very natural and normal conversation at lunch, dinner, or with one of my bunk roommates. But aside from that, mainly the persecution took its form by lies and by the role play. This form was maintained by just the fact that nobody was ever truthful as to the true state of things. If there was something to do with the pretend world, I could gain some direct help and guidance, but if it was for the real world, there was none to directly help me in my quest to become the Christ and son of God. I was kept in the dark as to what my future held for me; I was kept in waiting at FDC for a 3-panel psychiatric evaluation, but I didn’t actually get one until they transferred me back to OCCC after about 5 months at FDC. Oahu Community Correction Center: It seemed now that the authority figure had me transferred back to OCCC because that was the location where the doctors would come to visit me. I believe that I got to OCCC on January 7, 2019 and remained there until February 27, 2019 at which point, I was picked up by the Salvation Army ARC (Adult Rehabilitation Center). During my time at OCC, I was seen by three doctors on three separate occasions. They were sent to determine if I was psychologically and mentally fit to proceed with life. I remember them asking me a few questions regarding the due process of law. I could have told them the absolute truth. The truth that I was being persecuted and that I was in a completely made up society, or, I could have just played along with the coordinated and make-believe society by proving to the doctors that I have learned to comply with the coordination and with the lies. I chose to play along. I decided that I did not want to go out that way; I needed to live along the righteous road and I needed to do what I needed to do in order that I might be able to serve the lord best. And so, I played along and made sure that the doctors would pass me as fit and able. Judging by the clues left to me by the authorities, by the visions, by the dreams, and by the spirit, I was able to maintain some sort of faith that I was going to be returned back to the true and real society someday soon. The pain was unbearable; there is no doubt about that. But the road to redemption was set and the course was charted; I would have to undergo a very rigorous and trying journey if I were ever going to make back into the real world. I tried my best to look at this type of persecution as some great test and trial that was meant to unearth my true and greatest potential rather than to look at it as some very unrighteous and evil deed that needed to be shut down immediately due to a human and civil rights decree. During my time in jail I was good. I refrained from getting involved with anything that may be deemed wrong or unrighteous. I stayed away from the gang affiliated activities, I followed the rules, I was physically active and fit, I fasted, I prayed ceaselessly, I attended the bible studies and the religious services, and I maintained a level head and normal plan of action daily. Oh, and I cried; I cried out daily and continuously to my God. The pain of heart was so heavy, and the harsh reality was so unbearable, I cried and cried my heart out to the Lord. But the Lord was always there to help me through by granting to me the visions and the dreams; the vision of a righteous day, the vision of a joyous day, the dream of a wonderful future, and the dream of a glorious path was paved before me by the Lord. In which case, I was able to pick myself up each day with a hint of a smile and with a shrug of a thankful prayer. Salvation Army- Adult Rehabilitation Center: The first thing I remember about the ARC was that guy, Raymond, the intake coordinator, the guy who came to pick me up from OCCC and immediately started to persecute me by testing the call of which I had come to answer. That call was that I was indeed Christ, and Jesus Christ’s brother. I told him that Jesus was my brother and that I was the son of God. He pretended that he was beginning to think that I was crazy for me to tell him such preposterous truths such that I did. I was mad at him because he was supposed to be a Christian man who was willing to take in people like me that needed help. As it was, ARC was the responsible party in my supervised release from Jail. I had no choice but to go into this treatment facility; it was that or go straight back to jail. Whatever the case, the way that he acted towards me was a sign, that my faith was about to get tested like never before. Sure enough, as if my tribulation were only just now getting started, ARC turned out to be partially a nightmare. They tested my humility and faith in every sort of fashion imaginable. I did my best not to think of it as evil deeds and I did my best not to go off telling everyone what they knew already to be true, that I was the son of God. For the record, I never had a doubt that I was God’s very own son, but I could not go around telling everyone that. I needed to find a place that I could fit, and I found that place somewhere between a prophet, a revolutionary, and/or as a man with a great vision and a great call to duty. I did not know the bible all that well, but I was fully acquainted with the heart of it and with its basic messages and truths. By this time I had become a fully fledge Christian myself, but I did not feel a longing to get to the know the bible as well as I should; being a man who has been called to fulfill such a high calling in the faith, one might think it to be contrary to my duty, but for many reasons, I did not feel that way at all. I was beginning to find that my best fit was found where the pen meets the paper; writing and creating is what I found that I needed to do most. ARC provided for me to be a Christian environment, a prayerful environment, and a spiritual environment that could boost my understandings of what it means to be a Christian man. Aside from the full-time thrift store work therapy, ARC proved to be a wonderful environment that was conducive to spiritual growth and personal spiritual attainment. This treatment facility proved to be very rigorous and very demanding. Structure and personal responsibility were defining attributes of this treatment Center. It was incredibly challenging, but also exceptionally good for the character. At this treatment center, we had treatment classes and workbooks, we had AA and NA meetings, we had church, we had chapel services, we had sponsors, and we had pastors and spiritual leaders. When it came to spiritual growth, this place had it all worked out for us through a 6 month program. The authorities who were in control did not let me forget that they were always there with their watchful eyes and strict works. I felt the persecution from sunup to sundown. They were always there it seemed; through every person I interacted with to every figure of authority, from every meal to every spiritual gathering, and from every task to every moment, the persecution and its tactics were always there to follow me. Not a single day was made easy, but I can say that not a single day went by that I did not use my time to learn something new. I was diligent in my work for the Lord; when it comes to my works that needed to be done for the Lord and for the true world, my heart did not skip a beat. I continuously kept my sights on ahead and my faith staggered for the future glory of God and his Son’s righteous causes. I needed to use my gifts to write inspiring words from God, I needed to write out a testimony, and I needed to write out what has happened to me. What I truly needed to do was to put down on paper, the words that needed to be said, so that when I needed to speak, I would be ready. But just to write the inspired words of God was not as simple as it might seem, for the darkness that the persecution casted upon me was heavy and was blinding. Yet through it all, my faith was durable, and my pursuit was steady in my works. And I quote here the words of King David. These are the words to best sum up my walk through the persecution period and tribulations, “He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Through the visions, and through the dreams, and then through the spirit, the Lord would light up the way for me. The lord has granted to me his light. Though I did not yet see an ending to the persecution tribulations in my immediate future, I was however able to see that the future was promising, and that a brilliant and true life awaited me just as long as I stayed on the righteous path that the Lord provided for me to follow. Clean and Sober House- Makaha: After 6 months of treatment I graduated from the Salvation army’s ARC program on August 28, 2019. On the very next day, I caught the bus out to the west side to live in a clean and sober house in Makaha. I attempted to get some peace and some solace by deciding to move out to the farthest house from the city of Honolulu that I could find. It was a house that was right near the beach and it was a house that was close to the countryside of Waianae, Oahu. I was not eager to work because I thought and felt that what I did in this coordinated society was not so much important. I did not bother trying my hardest to make money and to start making it back on my feet because all of it was not very real for me. But I would learn later that my timing was off, and that I needed to start charting a course for a more distant future return to society. The effect was that in the weeks and months following my clinical discharge from treatment, I spent most of my time writing at home in my room. I was able to buy a small and cheap laptop computer that I could write on. I did not waste any time typing and writing. I got straight to work. I was in an environment that would allot me the time and effort to make up for all that time I spent in institutions and jails. At last, I thought, I can finally find the peace of mind that I needed for me to write my way back into the real and true world. But it did not matter how much or how well I wrote, I didn’t seem to feel a change in the way of the world that was presented to me. It should be known that the authorities could make up any scenario around me that they wanted to, and for the most part they did that. But they did it in a way as to make every scenario coordinated as if it would have been if there were no significant changes to the society that we live in. At this stage, it was a sound belief of mine that I would be taken out of this false and make pretend society at the moment that I would be able to prove that I was ready to greet the world. I guess I was not ready yet because by the visions, by the dreams, by the spirit, and by the signs that the authorities were giving me, my time was not yet at hand. By the turn of the new year of 2020, the darkness that the persecutions and the tribulations that were forced upon me were yet in full swing. I was literally all alone for over a year now since my tribulation period started. I had made it a point that I was not going to talk to any of my friends or family until this was all over with because I did not think I could bear it. I did not want to see my own family and friends persecute me because I could not believe that they would agree to be a part of this coordinated society. I did not want to talk or to see any of them until I was certain that they would not bear false witness against me. But my faith was running low, I was running out of money, and I was running out of support. I barely had any support excluding the fact that my new probation officer, cici Upresa (aka Ms. Naupaka) was the only person that was keeping me sane and levelheaded. But something had to give, and that give was my foolish pride. I needed family if I was going to make it through this. I learned quickly that I was still on probation and that I was stipulated to abide by the rules of my probation conditions. I also learned that I would need to prove to the probation officers and courts that I had changed my ways, I had quit drugs for good, and that I was working towards making my way back into good standing with society (society no matter how fake and false that it may have seemed). What you see is what you get. And what I was given was probation and they made it a point for me to work it like the rest of them. So, in turn, I reached out to my family; probation wants to see that you are building a good family support system again. I reached out to old friends; probation wants to see that your doing sociable and healthy things with the community. I found work; probation wants to see that you are working full time and are doing the things that the core of society is doing. Everybody needs to work, make money, and pay the bills if they are to be a part of a community of good standing. There was one big problem with all of this, I was getting severely depressed and suicidal because I did not think that I could continue in this coordinated society any longer. I just out right could not handle it if I was all alone; so, I finally decided to call my dad. The Lord has shown me that I would be interacting with my immediate family members while the persecutions went on. I let go of my pride and the next thing you know before the turn of the new year, I would be living at my dad’s trailer house that he had built at his workplace in Kapolei. It was different to know that somebody is there for you even if that person directly persecuting you is your own father. I would eventually learn to deal with it (the persecution techniques). Trailer and solo living- Kapolei: Its been nearly seven months from the time when I first contacted my father and I have been living in the Kapolei trailer house ever since. It is now July 10, 2020 and I am now writing to you real time as I sit at my office desk in my trailer home. I regularly take medications for my depression and my suicidal tendencies, but I have found myself capable of continuing the task that the Lord has given me with whatever little strength that I can conjure up. I believe that because I know the outcome of this here scenario (because the Lord reveals these things to me); what I mean is that I know that I will be let go to be free from all lies and persecutions. It is simply just a matter of time before I am ready to proceed and when I will be taken out. However, there is something about the duration of this persecution that has its way of keeping me in a manner of haziness and cloudiness. I am depressed and I am weak. I found that I have become frightened by the persecutions, and I have found that I have become weak to press on. Nevertheless, I pray each and every day, I fast occasionally and do my best to eat healthy, and I am working on my website which houses all of my works in blog posts. My website is where I have focused all of efforts because it will be from there that the people will be able to see and learn what it is that will become of me, become of the new world church, become of the life that I lead, and become of the testimony that I carry with me. As it stands, it seems that I will be on course to finish probation. I will either be here in Hawaii or I will be in Reno, Nevada where I have secured a job to become a carpenter with one of my old college buddies. I am trying to exercise my right to get my probation transferred to another state because I think that a good change of scene and change of scenario will be good for my morale and personal strength. In the meantime, I will continue, alone, to build up my website, my company, my church which I have so proudly named, Beloved House Project LLC,. I have also been working within the automotive industry where I have learned to use my working hand to help pay my bills, past debts, court fees and fines, my daily expenses, and the Beloved House Project company’s expenses. I would like to say that yes, I am working and living upon the straight and narrow path. The path of righteousness and redemption. No matter how false the community may seem at times, I am doing a lot of normal things and good things around the community. Despite the current Covid19 epidemic, I have managed to keep a steady income; I am now self-employed, and I make sure that the bills get paid. I have managed to reach out to friends and family, I have managed to stay physically active and fit, I have managed to keep a level-head and healthy lifestyle, and I have managed to keep at the Lord’s work by writing daily in the hopes that all that I write will one day be read and published to the public. With all of this and much more, I now do believe that the Lord will deliver me one day shortly and I will be received by the world in which case a glorious and righteous new age will be dawning.